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Every family has problems - but the Savage Family has actual monsters.Jordan Savage is a normal 16-year-old kid barely holding it together after his parents’ recent divorce. His twin sister Winter is his opposite in every way—including how she is coping with the changes in the Savage family’s lives.And those changes are bigger than they could even imagine. They are about to find out that the boring, bickering parents they've lived with this whole time are secretly ancient death-dealing barbarian warriors. They have been living quietly for 3000 years, having defeated their nemesis—the evil sorcerer warlord Farklar the Fleshless—leaving the world safe for humanity. Only now, Farklar has returned, and his army of hideous Mordorks are about to devour Des Moines. Now the Savages are piled in Mom’s minivan headed for Iowa to wage war against Black Magic Armageddon. Jordan is freaking out, Winter thinks it’s all pretty cool, and no one is sure if Mom and Dad can get along long enough to sa...