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Sir Barktholomew, Master of Excuses Meet Sir Barktholomew, the only scholar in the realm who has started the same book seventeen times and still insists, "It gets good in the next chapter." From his favorite chair, he dispenses completely unrequested advice to passing adventurers. Need directions? He'll recommend a novel. Fighting a dragon? "Have you tried reading about dragons first?" His library contains exactly one book, yet he treats it as if it holds every answer in the world. Rumor has it the pages are blank—but every time he opens it, the story changes to match whatever excuse he's about to make. Whether he's avoiding chores, delaying a quest, or pretending to be deep in thought, Sir Barktholomew proves that sometimes looking wise is almost as good as being wise... especially if no one interrupts your reading. 🐾📖